Friday, April 6, 2018

A Letter to My Fatter Self

It’s 2005 and you’ve just hit what you believe to be the lowest point in your fatness.

You’re a senior in high school and you’re not in a good mood. You’re pouting, sitting cross-armed on the couch, feeling violated. Your mom just chased you around the house so she could prick your finger for a home diabetes test. You’re so afraid of the results you’d rather not know. After some prodding, you relent. Turns out you’re not diabetic, but you’re borderline. You’re relieved, but also scared. You have visions of going blind or losing a leg. Will this be the moment that finally inspires change?

No.

It gets worse.

A few months later, after watching Super Size Me, you’re going to be inspired to hit up a McDonald’s drive-thru. On the way there you’ll get pulled over for not stopping for a full three seconds at a stop sign and get a $130 ticket. All for a #1 with Mr. Pibb, 10 Piece Chicken McNuggets with sweet and sour sauce, and a Reese’s McFlurry.

Will it be worth it?

Yes.

Will it get worse?

Also yes.

Monday, August 14, 2017

8 Pieces of Unsolicited Career Advice from the Boonies of the Advertising Industry


A few months ago, I went out to lunch with a new coworker. I learned it was his first job in advertising and as he talked about his career aspirations, I found myself giving him all the advice I could think of—things I wish someone told me before I got into this business that I learned the hard way. I felt compelled to share because my career in advertising has been a complete 180 from what I was expecting. They say the best lessons in life come from experience, but some experiences are long, drawn-out wastes of time that can be avoided with a warning. And despite the title of this post, I think there's something in here for everyone—if you're not in advertising, just replace "advertising" with whatever field you're in—"Teaching." "Construction." "Porn." Here are some of the things I’ve learned in my journey so far, all the hard way:

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Proud to be named one of the Top 10,000 Cogs in the Advertising Machine doing all the banner ads & direct mail so the Top 30 can keep doing all the cool shit. #adlife #agencylife #asiancylife #blessed